Reminiscence
by Pureauthor
Summary: /Oneshot/ Silently, she retreated into memory once more, and forgot the pain...


Reminiscence

* * *

This is meant to be a sequel to 'Memories', so some events in here may not make complete sense unless you read it first. The story can be found in my profile, and it's one of the earlier ones. This is just a helpful note. Now on with the story!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

_Breathe. In. Out._

She lay there, staring at the ceiling. The same wooden-paneled ceiling that she had watched unerringly for the past two months.

_Inhale._

She blinked once, with tired eyes. A thin arm reached out from under the heavy silk quilt, to massage her muscles.

A cough wracked her body, and then she fell back onto the bed, breathing heavily.

Sheba blinked again, feeling a single tear trickle down her cheek. The sun was still shining, she could hear kids outside playing and laughing.

She closed her eyes. _And here I am…waiting. Just waiting._

A soft knock sounded on the door. Shifting herself, she turned her head, just enough for her to face the door, a smile on her face.

"Come in." She called.

The door slowly creaked open, and Ivan peered in. Short, messy blond hair fell about his features that seemed inexplicably wise for his age of fifteen years. A gentle smile spread over his face as he walked over to the one person he cared about most in his life.

"Feeling any better?" He asked softly, as he pulled up a chair and settled himself onto it.

"Not really." Her smile was tired, and Sheba suspected it did not entirely reach her eyes, which held a slightly sorrowful expression. As it always had, for so long… "But," She continued. "Now that you're here…" Slowly, deliberately, moving so that she would cause herself minimum discomfort, she reached out a hand, letting Ivan grasp it in turn, and let it rest on her lap.

"I'm sorry…" She continued. "I didn't mean to have to interrupt your studies in Tolbi…"

"Don't be silly." Came the quick reply. "You know I'd do anything for you."

She watched him for a long time, an unreadable expression etched on her face. Then, her gaze turned inwards, and she spoke quietly. "I'll die soon. I can feel it."

Ivan's grip on her hand tightened. She could see him opening his mouth, forming silent words of protest, but then he closed it again. He knew she was right.

"I've fought this illness… for as long as I could. But I'm so tired, Ivan. So tired…" She drew in another breath, almost panting, feeling the strain and effort the each and every single movement brought.

"Felix…" She said softly. "He's taking this very hard, you know. When they told him it was terminal, he didn't say anything. Just collapsed into a chair and wept." Her voice became thicker, almost as if burdened with some hidden guilt. "He loves me. He really does."

Mention of Felix caused Ivan to raise his head. "Dad…" He said softly.

She looked at him, closely observing each and every feature on his face. So much like his… The same expression, seemingly innocent and yet wise at the same time. The same messy blond hair, always falling in his eyes and being brushed back. The same, quiet tones of voice he had always used.

But his eyes shone a dark amber instead of purple, the mark of his heritage, of who birthed him.

She closed her eyes, feeling tears prickle her lashes once again. "Fifteen years… I tried… fifteen years… I did my best. I tried to be a loving wife, a caring mother… I tried…" She was interrupted by another wracking cough.

"You succeeded." Her son reassured her. "You were a wonderful mom in every way."

"…" She didn't reply immediately. "Ivan… do you know how you got your name?"

Ivan blinked at the suddenness of this unexpected question. "Well, uh, I know that when you were on your quest to light the lighthouses, you met up with a boy named Ivan… and that he… well, he died trying to save the world. So… I, uh, I assumed it was a namesake."

"Yes… yes, in a way." She sighed, and returned her gaze to the ceiling. "Let me tell you a story, Ivan..."

* * *

"_IVAN!" Sheba howled with shock and grief as she sprinted towards his limp form. Behind her, Felix was conversing quietly with… Isaac similarly sprawled on the floor, burn marks covering their bodies._

"_Karst…" She whispered as she frantically dug through the pack. "Did Karst do this to you?" Stupid question. Of __**course**__ Karst did this. She had been the one attacking him, after all._

_Oh, where were the potions? Why couldn't she have arranged her pack better before they had left Contigo? Rummaging frantically, she finally found a vial of golden liquid. Water of Life._

_As quick as she could, she tipped the contents of the precious vial into Ivan's mouth, noting with relief as the worse of the burns began to fade. With a hacking cough, Ivan's eyes flew open. He attempted to pull himself into a sitting position, but he was obviously still too weak._

"_Rest, Ivan." She said tenderly. "Just rest. Don't worry about the others. Let's just focus on making sure you're all right." Quickly, she unwound several bandages and began to tie them around his arms and body- any area that had suffered serious injury._

_Meanwhile, Ivan's eyelashes fluttered as he tried to bring the face of the one helping him into focus. "You…" He whispered hoarsely. "Know you…"_

"_Uh-huh." She managed a smile, despite her nervousness. There was a deep gash on his leg, and the bleeding didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon. "It's me, Sheba."_

_Behind her, Felix and Picard disappeared back into the Jupiter Lighthouse, heading for the beacon. Ivan cracked open one eye, looking her in the face. "Sheba…?" Then he returned her smile, as he closed his eyes again. "Found you… at last."_

_No more words were said as she grabbed some salve from her pack, quickly applying it to the wound on his leg._

_Meanwhile, using his arms, Ivan slowly propped himself up against the wall. A forlorn smile made its way onto his face. "And here I thought…" He whispered, with visible effort. "That I'd be the one rescuing you."_

"_Don't talk." She replied urgently. "You'll only tire yourself out." Snagging her water bottle, she doused a rag in water, and began meticulously cleaning his wounds._

_Just then, the Jupiter beacon flared into being, a cataclysmic explosion of light… and energy._

_For energy she could feel, seeping into her body, and imbuing her with greater strength and psynergy than she had ever thought possible. Ivan appeared to be similarly affected, as he blinked and almost managed to sit up._

_He glanced directly upwards, and involuntarily, she followed his gaze. High up, on the aerie, she could see sparks of purple flashing. Then, she glanced down again, at Ivan._

_He had slumped back against the wall, a single sparkling tear falling down his eye. "Failed…" Was the only word he managed before a cough wracked his body, and blood trickled out of his mouth._

"_Ivan!" Sheba cried. Clearly there had been greater damage than just the burns and cuts she could see. "Breath." She called. The djinni in question popped out, and blew a healing wind onto the male Jupiter Adept._

"_It's all right." She spoke in soothing tones, trying to reassure him. "It's all right. I can't explain right now, but… trust me."_

"_Trust you." He said simply, with no emotion or tone. His eyes still closed, Sheba hadn't the faintest idea what he was thinking at that time._

_Behind her, Jenna finally succeeded in pulling up the redhead and the blue-haired girl. (Garet… and who?). Then, dusting the hands off, she glared upwards. "What's taking Felix so long? Sheba, take care of them. I'm going up." Hefting her staff, she quickly departed into the lighthouse as well._

_Ivan then opened his eyes, still staring at her with that same unreadable expression. "Sheba…"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_You don't know… how much… I worried. How much I wanted…" He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "To see your face smiling at me. Crazy, isn't it? I only really… met you once… but…" He coughed again, less violently._

"… _You're delirious." She said simply, trying to get out from under the weight of his words. "You probably have a fever too. Just rest."_

_Without warning, one hand reached out, grasping hold of her cloak. "I… trust you… Sheba."_

_She sat back, stunned, completely unsure how to respond to his statement._

_He smiled. The same smile he had shown her so long ago, back in Tolbi. "You should go. Your friends are waiting." Inclining his head upwards, he turned to watch the faint violet glow falling from the aerie. "I can feel… a conflict brewing up there."_

"_Go? But…" Sheba wavered, torn between Ivan and the others._

"_It'll be okay." The sandy-haired youth known as Isaac told her. "We're fine. We'll join you later. Just give us a couple minutes."_

_Pausing to shoot one last worried look at Ivan, who gave her a thumbs-up, she turned and hurried back into the Lighthouse._

* * *

Ivan paused, staring at his mother. "You mean…"

She smiled wanly as she resumed her observation of the ceiling. "He was a wonderful companion. It didn't matter what task faced us, what life threw at us. Ivan… He'd always take the blow on the chin, then rise up and dust himself off, ready to take it on the chin again." She chuckled, and in that simple sound the room seemed to brighten.

She could see Ivan smiling slightly too. "Your smile…" She shook her head, stopping only when a tiny stripe of pain lanced up her neck. "You really look so very, very much like him."

"It was always best… it was best when we were together, just the both of us. When we'd laugh and joke with each other… it was best then."

Silently, she retreated into memory once more, and forgot the pain…

* * *

"_Do you ever think about the morality of throwing water balloons at Garet?"_

"_Hmmm… no."_

"_Good. Me neither." Both of them grinned as they leaned over the side of the ship, watching a very wet and very annoyed Garet yell several choice words at the two little 'airheads'._

_With a laugh, the two of them scrambled up the ship's deck, until they were at the upper level. 'Their' spot._

"_I'm kinda surprised you knew where to find Garet." Ivan grinned as he whittled away at a piece of wood._

"_Ah, but that's a specialty of mine." Sheba smirked. Ivan looked up._

"_Oh, do tell."_

_They were in Loho, after just having endured more lava, fireballs, and exploding statues than most decent humans deserved to encounter in their lifetime. The flying ship had been parked out on the beach, while Felix, Isaac, Mia, and Picard had journeyed into town to see if there was anything of note. And also to talk to the village head about procuring a certain cannon…_

_Sheba leaned back. "You know Air's Rock?"_

"_Hm? Oh, the legendary Rock from which the elemental stars were said to be forged?"_

"_Not quite so legendary as that. We've just went through Magma's Rock, didn't we?"_

"_Don't remind me." Ivan replied sourly as he fondled his green cloak. One corner of it had been charred by an errant fireball, and soot black stains still remained._

"_Right, we also visited three other Rocks, all corresponding with each element."_

"_You found a psynergy skill in each of them, right? I've seen Felix turning himself into sand more than once, and Isaac doesn't seem to possess that particular capability. Ditto with Piers constantly drying up Felix's water glass as he's about to take a sip. Seems to think it's too funny for words."_

"_Right." She laughed. "Well, when we finally reached the center chamber, the tablet granted me a special skill too!"_

"_And what was it?"_

"_Reveal!" She smiled excitedly. "It can allow you to see hidden things, and reveal truths that aren't obvious to the naked eye, and… Ivan?"_

"…_Reveal." Ivan said, looking slightly sheepish for some reason. "Oh, man…"_

"_Ivan? What is it?" She queried._

"_I, uh, hate to be the one to rain on your parade, but…" He grimaced slightly._

_Confused, she raised a hand and focused, peering into his heart. Then her mouth dropped open in shock. "You… you… we had to ford one of the most ridiculously complicated mazes ever created in this world to get that lousy spell, and Hama just __**gave**__ it to you?!"_

"_Eh… heh…" He grinned._

"_C'mere!" She lunged at him with a flying tackle that sent the two of them sprawling over the wooden deck, tussling with one another. When their little brawl was finally finished, she grinned down at Ivan from her place on top. "I win."_

"_I __**LET**__ you win." He shot back sorely, even though both of them knew it wasn't true._

"_What's that, the ol' male ego at work again?" She asked teasingly as she traced a tiny circle on his chest. Ivan held his defiant expression a second longer before the both of them started laughing their heads off._

_That evening, they sat, watching the sunset, Ivan's arm wrapped protectively around her waist, her head lying on his shoulder. Together, they watched the golden sun sink below the horizon, as the ship continued on it's interminable progress onwards towards the frozen north…_

* * *

"He always sought to reassure me, and to make me feel happy…" She sighed, breathing out a warm rush of air. She turned to her son. "Forgive me if I drone on, son… it's just that…"

"Oh, no." He reassured her. "I want to hear more. You never talked about what happened when you went on that great quest…"

"There's not much to tell about that… the world is peaceful now, Ivan. It's better that way. No more wars, conflicts… Just plenty."

"But still…"

She smirked slightly and shook her head. "All right, then. If you insist…"

* * *

"_It's better this way." Ivan laughed. "Better to have a new friend than an old enemy."_

"_Oh, so I'm an enemy to you now?" She asked, laughingly._

_After the lighthouse had been lit, and the fight with Agatio and Karst completed, they had returned to Contigo. After much wrangling and debate on either side, they had finally decided to band together to light the last lighthouse. Sheba had heaved a silent breath of relief when she'd heard that decision. The prospects of having to tangle with her fellow Jupiter Adept hadn't been a pleasant one._

"_By the way, who was that woman? Hama?" She asked, as she glanced back. The lavender haired lady with the serene face had glanced at all of them in turn as they passed, and she thought she had seen her glance at Ivan's face with a strange sorrow._

"_Oh… she's… met her near the Lamakan desert. She seemed to know me, but… never thought she was my sister." He shrugged it off with a tiny grin._

"_Hurry up, you two!" Isaac called. "You're straggling!"_

"_Coming, coming!" Ivan replied gaily, and the two of them broke into a jog, trying to catch up to the rest of the group._

"_So…" She asked in-between pants. "How was your journey here?"_

"_Would you believe we wrecked Babi's ship? Or at least Garet and Isaac did. See, they were trying to navigate through a patch of coral…"_

-

_Sheba stood silently on the deck of the ship, sighing. She had truly thought… that she'd find the truth of her ancestry here, at the shining beacon of Jupiter. And yet, Contigo and the Shaman's Village had both yielded nothing at all. She stared moodily at the swirling waves below her._

"_Sheba?" Ivan's head popped out from the cabin. "Oh, there you are. What's wrong?"_

_She snorted slightly. Trust a Jupiter Adept to figure out that she wasn't happy within three seconds of seeing her. "Nothing." She said simply. "Only… I wish I knew more about my family. You found your home here, didn't you? Hama is your sister…" She turned to regard him. "You're so lucky, Ivan. You have a family to return to, once all this is over, and I…" A teardrop splashed down onto the wooden deck. She'd started to cry without even noticing. Angrily, she scrubbed at her eyes._

"_Don't do that." He said softly, reaching out a hand to catch hold of her arm. "Don't rub your eyes so hard." He smiled, slightly wistfully. "And you shouldn't cry either. It's a shame to see such beauty marred by tears."_

_This shocked her enough to glance up, staring at him with a blank expression on her face. He grinned. "Knew that'd get your attention."_

_Biting back a reply, she settled for whacking him on the shoulder, and turning back to face the sea, now resting her head on her elbow._

_A second later, she once again felt his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sheba. I was so caught up in Contigo over what I'd found out that… I'd completely forgotten to consider your feelings. Sorry."_

_Sheba half-turned so she could look him in the eye. "But don't forget, Sheba. You've got me. You've got us. We're your friends, aren't we? We're your family too. You'll always be welcome with us, no matter what."_

_Sheba leaned back, balancing on the ship as it was rocked by gentle waves. "Thanks, Ivan. I feel better now."_

_He grinned back. "Anytime. I did the same for you back when we were in Tolbi, didn't I?"_

"_Sure you did." She laughed. Then came Felix's voice, calling for Ivan to help with the Hover Gem._

"_See you later." He called as he dashed off to the bow of the ship._

"_Yeah… later." She replied._

_She glanced up at the sky. Seabirds were still circling, and Sol still shone brightly high over them._

* * *

"Tell me another story." Ivan had begged.

And so she did. She told him of how they had met in Tolbi, of how she'd argued with a strange boy that had tried to cheer her up. She told him of how he'd comforted her when she was in the grip of some feverish nightmare, sending her soothing thoughts until she'd calmed down. She told him of how he'd attempted to bake a cake for her, an attempt that had left the kitchen unusable for two days as Picard and Mia hosed it down. She told him about how he'd risked his life and taken hits meant for her, all too many times. She told him of how he'd given up the one thing he treasured most, a keepsake of his past, to ensure her safety.

And she told him of Mars Lighthouse, of his last, sacrificial act. She told him of the Doom Dragon, the hatred and despair she'd felt when she'd realized he would never wake again.

She told him.

And when she was finished, he sat back, the look of a man, wise beyond his years, on his face. "You loved him." He said softly.

She made no reply.

"And dad?"

"I'd settled that debt a long time ago. I did everything I could…" Another tear rolled down her cheek. She'd never known whether it had been the right thing. If she could not be happy, then she could at least try to ensure that someone else could. "I'm sorry, Felix." She whispered softly. "I'm sorry…"

There was silence in the musty room. Then, "What's your favourite memory of him?"

She smiled. "Come, lean closer." He did so, a questioning look in his eyes.

Slowly, she raised one hand, placing it on his forehead. "This one… I treasured. And now I'm happy to give it to you." She could feel her strength fading, but she could do this.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated.

* * *

"_Sheba?" His voice echoed through the cold stone halls._

"_I'm over here, Ivan." She called back. A second later, Ivan rounded the corner, coming face to face with her._

"_You shouldn't keep running off like that." He said softly. "With only the two of us here, it's not safe."_

_The strange elemental chamber at the heart of the Mars Lighthouse had held four murals, each one for a separate element. And as the Adept had quickly determined, each mural would only give way to Adepts of that element as well._

_Which resulted in the two of them attempting to navigate through the twisting paths of the tower. Sheba sighed, and brushed her hair back._

"_What's wrong?" He asked. Just like him. Always, always worrying for her._

_She turned from his questioning gaze, looking further down the hall. "…"_

"_It's those dreams again?"_

"…_Mm." Sheba shook her head. "No matter how hard I try, I keep getting this feeling that someone's not going to make it."_

"…" _He didn't say anything more. Just walked over, giving her hand a light squeeze. "I won't let that happen." He promised._

_She smiled. "Thanks for the reassurance."_

_They continued their silent progress down the hall, each taking comfort in the other's presence._

_Suddenly, Ivan twisted, pivoting on his heel. Throwing himself to the left, he knocked Sheba down, as a stream of flame shot past._

_The Fire Bird that had swooped down from the alcove screeched in annoyance. Opening its mouth, it let loose another stream of flame._

"_Breeze!" A purple barrier sprung up, blocking the fiery blast from reach either of the two young adepts. Seeing the change in situation, the avian charged, slamming into Sheba._

_Caught by surprise, she rolled with the impact, swinging her staff so that she knocked the Fire Bird away from her onto the wall. Clambering to her feet, she was about to strike with a windstorm when she felt a strange numbness seeping through her leg._

_**Can't be… Poison Toad?**__ She slumped to the floor, panting for breath as she caught sight of the venomous amphibian crouching, preparing to lunge. She'd been careless._

_Raising her staff, she managed to block the tackle, but she was still sent sprawling away across the cold stone floor. The poison was working fast. She couldn't make any use of her right leg now, and her left leg was also still too far gone to be of much help. And already it was spreading up her torso._

_**Once it reaches my heart… it'll kill me.**__ The thought flared through her with absolute clarity, and grimacing, she reached for her pack. She could still hear the sounds of combat in the background as Ivan tried to deal with the tricky Fire Bird._

"_Qwark!" The toad leapt at her again, and this time she had no chance to counter. She was slammed into the wall with bone-shattering force, and she could feel trickles of blood coming out of her mouth and nose. Her pack was sent skidding away from her._

_What happened next was never made very clear to her, but her next clear memory was of her lying on the floor, head supported by Ivan's arm as she stared up into his worried violet eyes._

"_Took you long enough." He muttered nervously. "I was beginning to think you were too far gone for the antidote to help."_

"_No…" She coughed slightly. "Thanks, I'm fine." Then she realized the slightly compromising position they were in, and she flushed slightly. "Uh, we should get going." She hastily said as she clambered to her feet, sourcing the exit to this chamber._

"_Sheba…" Ivan's voice stopped her short. "Promise me you won't get me so worried again, okay?"_

_She turned. Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet. "I just now realized… how much you mean to me. So… please…"_

_Her mouth fell open. Did that mean…_

_He was obviously uncomfortable with the situation, but he continued anyway. "Well, what I mean, I guess, is that I… I lo-"_

_A finger on his lips cut him off midsentence. "Ivan?" She said with a smile. "Let's save that for later. When all this is over… and we can enjoy this properly. Deal?"_

"_Ah… y-yes!" He nodded._

_She turned to continue her way, but then stopped, and turned back to face him again. "And as for your request… I'll not get you so worried if you do the same. Okay?"_

"_Got it." Ivan reached out an arm, offering her back her bag, which she slipped onto her shoulder. "It's a promise."_

* * *

A cough, then another, interrupted her memory, sending them back into the drab, dusty room. The fit lasted for a full minute, and at the end of it, Sheba slumped onto the bed.

"It's no use, Ivan. It's… time. I'm tired… so tired…" Her eyelids seemed to be growing heavier.

"Mom? Mom?!" She could hear Ivan, but that seemed so far away.

"Ivan… son…" She whispered, barely audible. The sound of his voice vanished as he strained to hear. "I… I love you." She whispered.

Then she closed her eyes, and smiled.

…

She blinked. She was at the seaside, in a great port-city that was vast and grand. Not a soul was to be seen.

Except one. Crouched down by the water's edge, he stared into the still water, not moving a muscle.

She walked over to him, becoming aware, as she did so, that her old aches and pains no longer existed, that her body was no longer that of an woman in her late thirties, but young again, at the peak of her health when they were on their journey, her eyes sparkling green and her hair shining gold in the water's reflection.

And she finally reached him.

"Took you long enough." Ivan said, not looking at her. His messy blonde hair ruffled in the slight breeze.

She stood there for several seconds, mouth hanging open at his nerve. Then she punched him in the shoulder, hard as she could. "_You_ broke our promise! You got yourself killed and left me alone for twenty years, and now you can-" She stopped short.

Ivan was crying. Not the piteous weeping she herself had been through after his death, or the somber, silent tears that fell when one had an ache time could never remedy. He smiled through tears of joy.

"It's been so long… Sheba. So long…" He grinned, the same boyish grin her had flashed her so many times before. His violet eyes, sparking through the tears, held his life, laughter and joy that had never faded, no matter what obstacle.

Then all the emotion came welling up inside her as well, and she ducked her head, wiping away tears. A smile that refused to go away was etched on her face. It was him! Twenty years… twenty years of sorrow and grief. "Idiot…" She finally managed. "You… you broke our promise…"

His smile became uncomfortable. "I know. I… I'm sorry." He tried to hug her and she didn't resist, falling into his arms.

Holding her close, he spoke softly. "Sheba… what I always wanted to tell you… on the Mars Lighthouse… we promised that it'd only be after everything was over. It's a bit late, but…"

Slowly, he pulled away. "I love you, Sheba." He whispered.

She just stood there for a timeless eternity, soaking up what she'd always known in her heart of hearts and yet always longed to hear. Dispensing with words, she stepped forward, pulling him close. Their lips met, and she gasped quietly at the sudden surge of sensation and emotion.

Finally, she slowly pulled away. "Love you too." She replied.

A broad smile on his face, he turned. "Shall we?"

She blinked, confused. "Shall we what?"

"Go, of course. You didn't think we were going to spend eternity in here, did you?"

She looked around, at the vast spiraling architecture, and quiet still waters. Tiny patches of wildflowers dotted the silent city. "I like it here." She finally said. "It's… peaceful."

"It is, isn't it?" He said, standing beside her. "But wait till you see what's over the horizon."

She turned, a questioning look in her eyes. "Ivan, you're not the most practical of minds, but I'm sure even you must have wondered how we're supposed to get across without a boat."

He grinned, and hopped onto the water, as Sheba stared openmouthed. Taking a few steps that caused ripples in the quiet sea, he finally stopped, and laughed at her dumbstruck expression. "Come on, try it!"

Nervously, she stepped forward and put a single foot on the still waters. True to form, she stood on it as if it were solid earth. Ivan grinned, and stretched out a hand. "Let's go." He said simply.

And they did. They ran at speeds beyond that of any human, laughing with joy, and never got out of breath. They continued their journey, until at last they were beyond the horizon, in a land where sadness and fear had no place, where light and warmth were plenty, where people celebrated love.

A place where they would be together forever, part of the harmony, part of the joy.

But back in Vale, a son mourned quietly, holding his mother's lifeless arm to his chest.

* * *

Story end

* * *

Phew! This took quite some time and effort.

Personally, I'm slightly dissatisfied with my ending, but, oh well, that's the way it goes.

Miscellaneous stuff: The place Sheba appears in after she's, well, expired, is supposed to be akin to the Grey Havens in LotR. If it doesn't come across that way, then my bad.

Thank you for reading, and please review.


End file.
